A small accomplishment in a LARGE pit

So for the last few weeks, I know I know months, I have been reading this book called "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui". I have taken a while to read this because I am letting it soak in. So I finished it yesterday and thought about what it was saying. I figured that one spot that needed to be seriously attacked was the file drawer that Matt keeps getting into and pulling stuff out. I decided on the spur of the moment this am that I was going to take it all out (mind you this is a LARGE drawer) and sort it into folders someplace that Matt wouldn't get into it. Well, let me tell you there was a lot. So much in fact that it completely filled up a backpack to the point of almost not zipping. Now several hours later, with many many disruptions, I have filed all of it into the appropriate file folders and have gone through the entire bag. I feel so good about it.

I have been thinking a lot about what this book has to say about energy and our stuff and a lot of it makes sense. I am excited now to think that that drawer is cleaned out, that Matt can't get into it and get important stuff and that I can now attack the rest of my desk and get a "grip" on the paper there.

Go ME!

Don't know what I am feeling

I am having mixed feelings about something and feel I need to get my thoughts out.

I recently found out that a "friend" of mine whom I thought was a "good friend" really isn't what I thought they were, and in fact are two faced.
Awhile ago while I was having some rather large changes in my life happening I mistakenly thought this person was a friend of mine and as friends do, trusted them with thoughts and feelings pertaining to what was going on and believed them when I was given information or support. Now I have found some pretty strong evidence, an e-mail, to show that they are not the friend that I thought they were and that I don't know who they are.
This e-mail had lies, about me, lies about my family and it makes me wonder what other information they have said is lies to me and to others about me and my family.

I have not spoken to this person because I don't know what to say to them. Or for that matter how I am feeling.

I know that I am angry, anyone would be with this realization about a friend and with what was said.

I know that I am hurt, this is a loss of someone whom I thought was a good friend and that I cared for.

I also know that I am sad, I can not in good conscious continue to be friends with this person knowing what they have said and possibly what they have done.

I always try to be a good friend. I know I have always been a good friend to this person. Helping them when they need to move, being supportive when they were changing jobs or going through a tough time with kids or break-ups, helping any way that I can. Now I know that the friendship was a one way road and apparently they other side is a two faced road.

Should I confront this person? Should I waste my time on them? Or should I just slowly let them get the gist that I am not in the mood for what other lies they are going to say? When I first found out I wanted to take it to them and show them what I found and call them on the lies. After a few days I have come to the conclusion that right now karma has bit them in the butt. I don't know...I just know that I am really going to miss the one side that I knew and trusted. But it's not worth having to worry about what may be said or what may not be said.
I also can not ignore the fact that my family was brought into the lies. That is NOT okay! For now I can mourn the loss of what I thought was a good friend and maybe move on with out having to get to the point of confronting them. It's sad. I am glad that I have so many wonderful friends that I have had for so many wonderful years that count, and that I love wholeheartedly.
To those I say thank you for being my friend. And to the one I say I'm sorry and goodbye.

New way of thinking

A few months ago my mom gave me a book to read about cleaning out my clutter (crap) and the Feng Shui energy in my home. So Slowly I have been doing this, cleaning and reading this book. Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston.

The book made a lot of sense in my mind. I finally went through a box of stuff that I cleaned out from Hillside almost a year ago. It was there I just didn't want to "deal" with it. I did that, I am focusing on keeping my purse clean and my home, dare I say it?, tidy. There is a lot of good energy flowing now. My other "thing" I have been working on is me. I feel like I had gotten in a funk about things in general. My looks, my home...yada yada. So I have been cleaning out the clutter in myself. I have made me an important point in my life. I have made it okay for me to feel good about different things about myself. I have been making a little extra effort in the looks department, I know I need more than a little help (lol), in the physical department, and with my photography. I haven't put me on hold. I am trying to take better care of myself. I started with that box i spoke of earlier. It felt so good to go through and get rid of the stuff. I am making it a point to take my camera to work everyday so that if I see something that I want to take a picture of I can. And I do!

I feel that I have re-awakened my self. I feel good. That's what it comes down to. Doing something that makes you feel good. Such as getting rid of your crap. I have done so much that I noticed I am looking for things to get rid of. Ironically enough it is clothes. A bit of history. Our washing machine broke about 5 months ago. My parents lent us a little one, when I say little I mean two pairs of jeans and this thing is full. So anyway. We have been backed up on laundry for a little while. Every time I get close to being caught up something in my mind sabotages me, for all of those out there it is procrastination a.k.a. laziness. So I have been slowly plowing through it. There is a large pile of clothes that are clean that I haven't gotten too and frankly I am thinking that I don't need to. I am almost to the point where we have lived without these particular clothes for so long that we don't need them. Of course I will go through them but it is not for a need situation, it is for a sorting to get rid of them. I think I sound like my mom, Lord help me!

Anyway, like the blog says Rambling Thoughts, the point is to do for yourself a little something that makes you feel good about yourself! Remember, how can you love anyone with out loving yourself first?

What have our dicipline stratagies in schools come to?

I am a little on the irritated side of life, along with John. Monday when I came home I asked Ally how school was. She said is was just okay. I asked her why and she said that a little girl pushed her and kicked her because she was talking to one of the little girls friends. I asked Ally if she told the teacher and she said yes but that afterward the little girl proceeded to push her and try to pull her pants down. She did get Ally's pants down when she had fallen finally. Ally told me that the little girl was not "listening to the teacher". So my question is this...Since when is it NOT okay to discipline children in school? I'm not for capital punishment, however children should be reprimanded when they are out of line! I know another little boy who was standing up for his friend when he was being bullied and he got kicked in the privates. Where are the teachers? Are there too many for them to watch? And why was I not called or informed when my child was in trouble or was hurt at school by another child?

I know for a fact that a few years ago a child did something so extraordinarily out of line that the teacher reprimanded him in front of other children to get him to stop what he was doing in class immediately. The child was placing other's in danger. What did this get her/him? They were forced by the new principle to apologize to this child because they were to "rough" in reprimanding them, nothing physical but verbal. This is an excellent teacher who has taught for MANY years and is loved by all and what did this do? It tells the child to go ahead that there are NO boundaries and that it is okay to endanger others.
Two years ago I took my husband dinner. While I was there several students on the Basketball team were doing something that could possibly vandalize the school. They were asked to stop several times, nicely and then with a little more force. When they ignored my husbands co-worker John stepped in and told them to stop and to leave the campus. They left the building. When I was going out to my car I was then yelled at and called a B*&^H! Later that night I told my husband what had happened and he told the principle of the school. I received a call for my information. Nothing happens to the students. No missed games, suspension, detention nothing. Goes to show who rules the roost in the schools doesn't it? \

Why is it that people are so afraid to reprimand their children or teach their children how to act in public that they leave it to the people (teachers and such) who have their hands tied by parents who are sue happy and want money? Shouldn't we be responsible for our own children and how they act? Shouldn't we be included in incidences at school? How about teachers that have a backbone and are not afraid to call a parent and say we have an issue?
Hugh, no wonder we have so many kids killing themselves, endangering others, or worse.
One word raps it all up...sad.

What in the world is happening?

If you look at all the new styles that are out and available for people why, I ask you, are they going back to the 80's?!? HELLO the style died for a reason. No one really looked that good in HOT PINK! What is with the headbands that keep the hair IN your face? I thought the point was to keep it out of your eyes?. I don't know. The 60's clothing was interesting and fun. The 70's was a bit off and the 80's was...well growing up in the 80's let me tell you not that many people look good in the bright colors and spandex. In fact spandex should be outlawed!

Something else to ramble about...

Why does it seem that when your life is out of "wack" and something starts to come together that something else has to shoot out to left field? Just a complaining question. Sorry, had to get it off my mind.
Ramble at ya later.

Living your life like a dog

While on the drive to work today I heard the radio speaker refer to living his life like a dog. He went on to say that everyday is like Christmas to a dog. They wake up excited about what the day is going to bring. Basically put (in my opinion) that we need to be positive and happy about our grass not the neighbors. I am trying to be more positive. Even though things in our family are a bit tight (emotions, finances, blah, blah, blah) I keep reminding myself that I have two beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a job, and that I know God won't give me something he doesn't already know that I can handle (wish he would let me in on what the end result is early).

My daughter is such a joy. She wakes up in the morning and first thing she does is give me a BIG hug. My son on the other hand babbles like a baby does best. I know he is trying to tell me the secrets of the world but haven't figured them out yet.

I know people who think that the world owes them and they do nothing to better themselves. I know people who take a flat tire like it was a pesky hair in their face and they deal. I want to be able to deal.

I agree with the radio guy, being more positive is possible and probable.
Living my life like a dog is a bit much. I mean really do we need to go around sniffing each other?

Like the saying goes "when life gives you lemons make lemonade!"

What's more irritating when you need medical help?

I'm sure most of you have read that I had to have gal-bladder surgery two weeks ago. That went great however I have come to realize that the hospital er is SERIOUSLY LACKING!!! They don't really want to help you it seems. They act as though their late for their break!

Example 1: 2006 (yeah I know) I fell and was taken to the ER. They ran a cat scan on my head because I was having some serious issues, like giving my mom's phone number as my social security number etc. After waiting for a long time the doctor came in and said that everything looked fine and that I needed to get dressed he was sending me home. After a very difficult 10 minuets or so of trying to get dressed with assistance from my husband we finally get me dressed and then another doctor came in and said that I needed to get back into a gown. That he was sending me to OHSU because I had a brain bleed. WHOA! wait, one doc. said go home the other said go to OHSU.. what's up? When we asked he said and I quote "it was the end of the other doctor's shift and he wanted to go home."

Example 2: 2008 John and I rush our 10 week old infant to the ER because he has been vomiting all weekend and a three foot shot is a bit much for a little one. The doc. came in, saw, ordered blood and left. The nurses could NOT get any blood from my baby and sent what they were able to get (not much) to the lab for a test. The doctor said that he (baby) looked like he was not vomiting anymore and that we should make an appointment for him with the regular doc the next day. WELL DUH! He's not vomiting anymore because he hasn't had anything to eat for 5 hours. Wasn't there any concern his dehydration? The fact that he hadn't eaten in 5 hours and wasn't asking? Where was the common sense questions?

Example 3: When I was rushed to the ER via ambulance. They asked where the pain was I told them, showed them the doc ordred an Xray of my chest. Nothing. So they drugged me up with anxiety medications (Didn't need!!!) and painkiller/muscle relaxer combination, and sent me home. HELLO PEOPLE when someone is pointing to the side of their stomach and not their chest where does the xray come in at?

Who cares about finding the actual problem. Solving the actual problem or listening to what the problem is doing. I guess they needed to get to their break.

Old shmold!

I had a customer call me and ask if I had "that old film". When I asked her what she meant 110, 120, 35mm or other she said "ya that old film 35mm." We finished our conversation and a little while later a young, probably a freshman or sophomore in high school, came in and said she was the one that called for the old film.

It got me to thinking...she isn't that much younger than I am, or at least thought I was, and 35 mm film was old to her. What constitutes "old"? is it the age of the item? the age of the person looking at it? or the age in which it was created??

I have heard people say that they are "old" because they are turning a certain age? My mom at the age of 40 honestly looked older than she did when she was in her 50's. Maybe it is the feeling that a person has. If that is the case then let me tell you I feel about 100 years old today! Tomorrow will be a different age. Even though I am only 29 I feel that I have my "old" days and my younger days. New years eve I felt about 13...and that was a BLAST!!!

What constitutes "old"? there are many ways that it is described, "timeless" fashions and the "classy" ones. Furniture is referred to as "antique". Technology is "outdated"...the list goes on.
Is age a rhetorical question? Physically I am 29, mentally I may be older or younger, and spirit I have no idea. I think that age is what you are feeling when you feel it. We all age, that's a fact, but I think age is in the spirit of a person. I have known some "well seasoned" people that think and act younger. One for instance was 60, she had shorter spiky hair, decided she wanted to get her nose pierced. She looks great!! Another person, I don't know her personally only her son, turned 90 and wanted to go race at Nascar! What is in a number? We shouldn't "date" ourselves but rather live ourselves.
Never quite learning, having fun, or being young. Let your spirit be free, its youthful and energizing!